Hold the turkey; keep the cranberry sauce; and put the pumpkin pie on the back-burner.
There is an amazing menu for the annual Thanksgiving Day feast this week, and it has nothing to do with the kitchen (as good as it is when my mother-in-law is in full traditional mode).
Regular readers will know the fourth Thursday in November is one of the highlights of my year here in the US, an all-day over-eating fiesta that starts with 'Way Too Much' and goes all the way to 'You Ate HOW Much?', along with the obligatory Waistband Woe and Indigestion Overload.
It is a traditional British Christmas on steroids, with added Alka Seltzer (double strength).
But, this year, the food will have to take a distinct back seat to that other Thanksgiving Day ritual: wall-to-wall football.
Because, this year, we daren't take our eyes off the TV for a minute. No longer are Detroit set up to be the turkeys; not this time are Dallas trying to fight their way out of another collapse; and there can be no tryptophan time-out for the evening game, when turkey excess can cause weak-willed eyes to close.
We daren't take our eyes off the TV for a minute. No longer are Detroit set up to be the turkeys; not this time are Dallas trying to fight their way out of another collapse; and there can be no tryptophan time-out for the evening game, when turkey excess can cause weak-willed eyes to close.
Quotes of the week
Green Bay @ Detroit
5.30pm, Thu, Sky Sports HD3
Miami @ Dallas
9pm, Thu, Sky Sports HD3
San Francisco @ Baltimore
1am, Fri, Sky Sports HD3
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How to remote record
Oh no, not this year. Because this is the season when we truly give thanks for three games of awesome proportions, a trio of match-ups that provide more meat than the whole Bernard Matthews empire.
Recent history had told us we could safely snooze through the opening course typically provided by the Lions, as you had to go back to 2003 to find the last time the Motor City was able to celebrate a win on this November day.
Worse, in the last few years you could pretty much set your watch by the point at which Detroit were 30-odd points down. Two minutes to go in the second quarter? Must be 35-3 to the visitors.
But, in the words of Aragorn before the gates of Mordor, it is not this day.
Not in 2011, with the Lions bidding for one of the greatest sporting comebacks since Rocky II and their defence breathing fire and brimstone (actually, you could say Ford and Bridgestone in the automotive capital of the world, where no team is more blue collar than the inhabitants of Ford Field).
Detroit are back in the business of winning again, on course for their first victorious season since Bill Clinton was President and doubly determined to wipe out a decade of futility.
It would have made for a mouthwatering game no matter who was in town for this one, but it just happens to be the reigning champs and division rivals Green Bay, holders of a nice, shiny 10-0 record and bidding to keep their own high-octane motors at full throttle.
The Lions are certainly not the Immovable Object to the Packers' Irresistible Force, but they have the makings of at least The Very Tough To Shift Object at home, and they are fresh from a 49-point explosion against Carolina. Add in the new Nasty Boys of football in Ndamukong Suh and his fellow seek-and-destroy linemen, and you have the recipe for a pretty tasty first course in our Thanksgiving Day feast (all puns intended).
In fact, it's better than that, as the redoubtable Peter King of Sports Illustrated and NBC has set the table (ho, ho) with some wonderful fact-finding on Detroit's seasonal showdown. Like, the last time they won on this date (November 2000) it was against Green Bay. And the last time they faced an unbeaten team on this date (November 1962) it was also against, you guessed it, Green Bay. The Lions won that one, too.
So history is actually on the side of Detroit in this one, and anyone who takes them lightly will end up suffering far worse than indigestion.
And then we have another highly appetising footballing morsel in Dallas against Miami, two teams who are a combined 6-0 in their past three outings each.
Yes, the same Dolphins outfit that was a moribund 0-7 just three weeks ago is now one of the most scary basement teams any division is likely to have and it's the kind of game the bookies will have fits over just setting a winner, let alone deciding the points spread (Miami have chalked up an 86-20 advantage on their little winning streak, while the surprise new NFC East leaders have gone 94-44 in that same stretch).
A defensive slugfest it is unlikely to be. If Jason Garrett's men can make it four Ws in a row, they will be firm favourites to go roaring into the play-offs. But, equally, this never-say-die Florida bunch are not, technically, out of the running yet, and you feel they need to be knocked out just to earn a draw against them at the moment.
It has all the makings of a wild ride for us armchairs viewers and is Reason No 2 to keep the turkey on hold for a while longer.
Finally, we have a positively earth-shuddering collision of two of the top defences in the NFL, two division leaders who deal primarily in shutting down the opposition and who have given up the fewest and third-fewest points so far this campaign (surprisingly Houston have actually given up the second least).
Oh, and it is the first Brother v Brother head-coaching scenario in league history as the Ravens' John Harbaugh gets to test the mental mettle of his sibling Jim in the most public of settings.
Anyone who is snoozing by the end of that trio of outstanding attributes is either a hopeless narcoleptic or my old sports editor, who once told me cheerfully that "American football will never catch on in Britain as no-one's interested in watching pansies in pads and helmets." Er, so that means Wembley is empty each October, then?
But I digress.
The inestimable Mr King probably also had the best stat on this tasty threesome by pointing out that the six teams involved are a combined 42-18 to this point, and only ONE other game this Sunday (Chicago at Oakland) even features teams with a winning record.
So Thursday is not only a major blow-out in its own right, it comfortably eclipses the WHOLE of the rest of the Week 12 programme.
And, for those who can prime themselves with enough coffee and snacks to watch it all on Sky Sports 3 into the wee small hours of Friday morning, you can be assured of a televisual feast in excess of anything we can actually eat over here.
Mind you, I still intend to give it a pretty good go...!